‘Triple Vision’ 23.04.24 featuring Sai (MLD) [Mix + Q&A]
Our special guest this month on Triple Vision is Berlin-based artist, Kerstin Saidykhan aka Sai who curates the Moments of Lightness & Darkness mix series. We connected more recently through a shared loss and love of music and Kerstin has put together a beautiful mix for us, which takes you from the edge of the stratosphere to the ocean floor.
Kerstin has shared some of her story below concerning her deep connection to music and using particularly dub-techno sounds as a vehicle for self-exploration and healing.
More from Sai:
Web | Soundcloud | Instagram
Q1. Where was this mix recorded and was there a particular feeling or emotion you hoped to evoke for the listener?
A. This mix was created & recorded in my living room in Berlin. My flat in is between Kreuzberg and Neukölln and I have lived in this place since 2005, so the environment definitely changed a lot. Much more expensive, many places closed because of the increased rents during the years. I’ve built a little studio a bit outside of Berlin recently to source out my creative activities, but this mix was recorded before I moved there.
I select my sets always very intuitively & often very quickly, it always happens in a special flow state. Mostly it starts with one or two tracks, which catch my attention because they fit my mood at that moment. Here it was the track from Nicolas Barnes and also one from Remote Guest List, then I dig in my collection, mostly on Bandcamp, as to what could fit together. The pace, key note and genre counts second for me. Very often the connection between two tracks is a similar sound or other aspect of the track which reminds me of each other...like quoting something in a different context.
For this mix, I was in a very focused & productive mood. Very often I use my own mixes like medicine, when I am in a nervous state or very much in my head with too many thoughts. Music, especially Dub Techno can release or decrease this & can make me feel better when I put my headphones on and listen to a soundscape journey. And of course, I hope that the listeners have this benefit too.
Q2.: Where do you find creative inspiration & what does your process look like?
A: Definitely from my own moods, emotions and perceptions. What sometimes can change from one extreme to another. From the time when I was a teen until now, I always used music to express, but also reflect on emotions – especially those which feel challenging to me. During my inner process some years before I started to upload my mixes on Soundcloud, during the pandemic, I was very busy with further training in trauma therapy. I am a social worker and have worked with traumatised youngsters for many years. During that time I also reflected on my own history, well, that wasn’t new to me, I am always my best client, haha. I also engaged in therapeutic treatment during that time.
Around 2016, I came across a methodology called Ego State Therapy, where you figure out different parts of your personality. I was very impressed with this method and one day I realised that I always used music to give these different parts of myself space and also to get in touch with them while identifying myself with certain tracks. In some spiritual practices, one speaks of soul parts who come back, but I don’t want to look at this too much from an esoteric perspective. The methods I’ve learnt come from science & brain research.
Back to your question on inspiration, it’s the idea that in those mixes, especially those first ones I uploaded, every track represents an emotion, sometimes with a strong charge which is connected to a certain part of myself or a state. As you can see, my mixes are always a bit diverse. I almost never create a smooth ongoing set, actually I find this a little bit boring, when a mix is too smooth. I am fascinated with putting together different styles in a maybe unconventional way.
I always search and dig for a selection which makes it interesting to listen to and in some way, my inconsistent states of myself get in touch and get to know each other through these creations. Maybe this sounds a bit weird now, but that’s why I called my mix series ‘Moments Of Light & Darkness’. It is a symbol that any part of myself, any emotion has its own right to exist. All of them are valid, all these belong to my personality consciously and unconsciously, without rejecting anything and make up a whole, like Ying & Yang. That’s the idea behind MLD.
Q3. Speaking of MLD, are there any upcoming plans or special guests for your mix series?
A: Well, MLD goes really wild now, haha. I have several very appreciated artists with a guest mixes on my channel in the next months. My slots with two or three mixes per month are filled until September. I actually want to keep it a secret who will feature for now. As I said many times, it wasn’t my plan to do a guest mix series, I just started to upload my own stuff in public to step out of my comfort zone in a safe way. However, during the last three years so many nice connections to other DJs and producers with the focus on deep atmospheric dub techno-influenced production, have developed. I really feel very honoured to get this support, respect & recognition from them. Something that I never expected could happen- and also in such a short time. MLD is like an open space for cooperative action and also for unusual artistic experiments. In some ways I want to give back the support which I got when I was starting. I always have a focus on those artists who I think deserve more attention for their outputs. So I just follow the flow and see what happens. Many things have happened by so-called chance.
Q4. With your connection & involvement within Berlin's music/club scene, what have you experienced or been involved, which helped to build a sense of community?
A: I don’t see myself as a part of a certain scene, and in particular not of the Berlin club scene. But if I would have to name a place that gave me an idea of community in the early 2000s of what could be possible for me artistically, musically and as a DJ, then it is a small club in Kreuzberg, whose name I don't want to mention.
20 years ago I organised a small but nice event series there once a month. After a while, some singers from the Rhythm & Sound circle were regularly among my guests, in particular Walda Gabriel & Freddy Mellow. That was really crazy while playing the Rhythm & Sound tracks in my sets. One day they took the mic and we made a session spontaneously.
In general, I mainly played reggae back then, it was after my two stays in Jamaica, but I always mixed my sets with electronic bass music, UK heavyweight or jungle. I was very shy back then and always thought the other (male) DJs could do it much better than me. But the singers always insisted on being accompanied by me "Because it's you who has the vibe" they always said, hahaha.
I didn't understand the significance of these moments at that time, to be honest. Back then, I didn't think much about what I was doing and why.
Full moon on Koh Phangan, Thailand 25.02.2024.
Photo by Lava Brain
